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| i'd forgotten about this site
seems like it was a part of me in a past that doesn't really belong to me
i was a whole different person back then
since then i've had a new set of pains, a new set of joys, a new set of problems
but though i get older but it doesn't feel like i'm moving anywhere
purpose evades me
what am i doing here
where am i going
questions but no ANSWERS
life but no MEANING
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| I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like is was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go -i like that song, that's all-- and i can see it in my own life sometimes | | |
| about two weeks ago i had a huge fight with my father and a little while later i was talking to some one about it-- they said they were sorry and my reply was that i wasn't sorry anymore-- hence that poem- it was about him-- these past two weeks have been damaging to my relationship with God-- i was mad at Him because of the life i was in and the people who continued to hurt me even though i had tried to forgive them-- how swiftly i declined-- i became very bitter and cynical-- i knew that wasn't healthy-- i finally gave it up but now i am trying to climb out of the hole i dug myself into-- i called him tonight and apologized-- yes, he made me extremely angry but i wasn't any better-- so just to tell anyone who know i have this site i am kinda struggling and that i am not really depressed all the time if you have read the first two blogs- i was just mad when i wrote them-- read the snow one- it was fun | | |
| Oh the rosy merry glow,
of wind nipped cheeks with the falling of snow.
How beautiful, how silent, the world becomes,
the dusting of white shifting down so slow.
Walking home from class to day was beautiful! It is snowing here. I usually don't like the cold or the snow, but i cannot express how great it was. The above short poem was inspired by my walk. I will try to describe it. First of all i didn't have my hat- but i'm glad i didn't.
People passed by, all huddled in coats, not bothering to bothering to look around. If they had, what would they have seen? A silly grinning girl who is somehow captivated by the sights and probably has no sense: how right they are! There is no wind. The snow is drifting softly down. It is silent. I hear the sound of my feet shuffling in the white. I hear the snow as it hits my coat. I feel it on my upturned face, cool and wet, brushing gently. I unfocus my eyes and see it falling in a curtain in front of me. All is silent. The world holding it's breath so as not to disturb the scene. As I walk I think of a line in a song: "And it covers the land with a dream so intense that it wakens us all to a childs innocence." How well that describes my journey. I go beneath clustered trees, hear the snow on the withered leaves, humming to myself. So sad, home is coming soon, but oh what a great day! | | |
| I have this need to fly far away, Into lands where all will be well, Where fathers don’t hurt their children, And mothers are home to stay. Where smiles abound with love all around, Given freely and without condition, Laughter echoing in houses at peace, It is here I want to be found. I have this need to fly far away, Into a land distant my own, Forever happily ever, There I shall live all my days. | | |
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